However long it takes to lose the weight is however long it takes!

The title of this post actually comes from the Overeaters Anonymous book of testimonies that were compiled by the founder as well as others who have been in the program since the 60's when it began. Interestingly enough, I have seen myself in many of the people whose stories I am reading. They have learned to ride the wave of their successes and failures, give their days over to God (as they understand Him) and be set free from the bondages that held them captive. I can feel the beginnings of this happening to me.

Let me give you an example of another time when this process was in action. Several years ago I was forced by my extreme guilt to confess to my darling hubby that I had secretly opened a charge account (AGAIN, as I'd done in the past) and the bill was coming the next day where he would find it. It was middle of the night, dark and we were laying in bed before sleeping. He was eerily silent after my confession and I asked him, "do you want to hit me or something?" and he admitted, "Yes, I do but I won't" and he then reached over and hugged me tenderly vowing to get me the help I would need. Miraculously, when I realized that I needed outside help, the desire to spend money secretly left! Along with this deliverance I was noticing a change in my heart attitude regarding our budgeting process.

Yearly our church gave a series of sermons on money; it's spiritual applications, the mindset of the believer and money (All I have is God's and He appoints me as manager of it), etc. and I would fight tooth and nail over having to 'conform' to such a ridiculous thing as a budget. Well, as the years went by, I became less and less obstinate about it and actually began embracing the idea. When I messed up financially, I had no guilt, relished the baby steps I was making and went on. To this day, I am still 'abstinent not perfect' (another quote from the OA book)!

So it is with the food 'thing'. My name is Lisa and I am a compulsive overeater. I have been abstinent for 8 days now (I slipped up last week and ate a dessert compulsively NOT because I was hungry). For the first time, I didn't beat myself up over this slip up, I didn't continue to overeat or try to make excuses for the error. I simply owned up to it and moved on. This process signals that over time, and I am expecting YEARS, I will continue to make progress.

Yesterday I had a 'thought' which I suspect may be from the HOlY SPIRIT: my extra weight will be the last thing I lose in order to protect me from thinking that I am okay once it's gone. First will come the emotional, spiritual and biological changes THEN I will see the end result. At this point, I will be changed and will be able, more easily, to walk in the daily changes, surrendering DAILY to God for his will in my eating. Eating to live and not living to eat.